My ex is really good about having our son call and tell me goodnight when it’s his turn to have him every other weekend. He knows of the strong bond my son and I have and also knows that we will both sleep better if we have had a chance to tell each other goodnight first. It’s usually a short call. We talk about the things he did that day; we talk about what he ate for dinner; we talk about how fun it will be to sleep over at Dad’s house that night; but most of all this talk is so we can tell each other that we love each other. It’s something that we both look forward to.
This time when my son called he was in tears wanting to come home. I talked to him for nearly a half hour trying to encourage him to stay so that he could play with his dad in the morning, but to no avail. After an hour of crying his dad decided to bring him home so he could see me.
Lately he has been struggling with a fear of losing me. He has been telling his daycare lady that I’m not coming back for him; he holds my hand everywhere he goes; he’s been crawling in my bed in the middle of the night; and now he won’t fall asleep unless I hold his hand.
Many children struggle with this after their parents have gone through a divorce. One parent is gone and now they are terrified of losing the other. As a parent this is a hard thing to watch your child go through. No matter how much you reassure them that you are always coming back they are still scared that you won’t. Talk to your children. Give them the comfort they need and remind them that you are always going to come back for them. You can’t stop everything and be there with them all the time, no matter how tempting it may be. The important thing is that they consistently see that you never forget about them, that you love them, and that you will always be there for them no matter what.