My maternal grandparents had separate beds. Apparently it was pretty common back in the forties and fifties. And with the influence of television and the separate beds on the situation comedies, no wonder we all thought it was common.
When I asked my mother why they had separate beds, she answered that it was just what people their age did.
I don’t think people lose interest in sex so much as they have a deeper need for simple companionship as they grow older. I also believe that the amount of medication that we need to take as we get older is a contributing factor. Sexual response changes as we age, and continues after menopause, it just looks different. Holding hands, touching, kissing, and talking become as important as we get older as the physical attraction for sex was when we were first married. No matter what your age, the need for intimacy and closeness is still there.
If you and your spouse are experiencing lessened sex drive and don’t know why, dismissing it as simply getting older could lead to complications in you communication. Both of you can be checked for your testosterone level, the hormone that regulates sex drive in both sexes. A low percentage and a regular medication to stabilize your testosterone level could be the answer.
For women, intercourse at an older age may become painful because the elasticity of the vagina has changed. Foreplay takes longer and it can be uncomfortable. An easy answer is to purchase personal lubricants, which can be bought discreetly over the internet or prescribed by your doctor, if necessary. Because this can be painful, it is important to have good communication with your partner, so they know what to do and what not to do.
As a man, it may take longer to achieve an erection, but try a few new positions before running off for some Viagra from your doctor. An elderly man on Viagra with a wife who has elasticity problems can lead to some pretty painful intercourse. Both of you need to talk to your doctor together.
Regardless of age, stress can affect your sex drive. If you are older and have financial worries, retirement is creeping up, or family problems you are less likely to be interested in sex. Again, this is about communication with your spouse. Worrying about how well you will perform can greatly increase sex, so perhaps both of you could experiment with other forms of sex, such as oral or the use of toys. These toys can be found online or in your local adult store, packaged and shipped very discreetly.
If you’ve had a good working relationship all these years and have pretty good communication skills with your husband/wife, than this is just another matter for the two of you to work through. Talk openly and honestly, and your sex life will be as good as the other areas of your relationship.