If you are a church-going family, the odds are high that at some point you may deal with having a child who is no longer interested in attending. This can especially become a challenge when children reach their teenage years. So how do you handle that? Should you force your child or teen to go to church?
Well there are two sides of logic when it comes to this issue. There is the side that believes forcing a teen to attend church will only turn them off more. Forcing an issue can sometimes make them more resistant. There is the belief that they have to find out on their own where they really stand.
The other side says that attending church just isn’t an option. It should be expected as much as you would demand a child to brush their teeth, get dressed and so on. It is the center of the family and makes up their standards and beliefs.
Personally, I have only started now to deal with that. My two oldest children, 17 and 14, have never given me a hard time about attending. In fact, they usually go to church early on their own.
I believe that has a lot to do with what our church offers them. They make church enjoyable, rather than making it feel more like an obligation or duty.
So it has been a new challenge for me to have a 12-year-old suddenly stop liking church. But I have to also take a step back and look at his point of view, even if I don’t agree with it.
For instance, we attend church three times a week. I know to some this might sound excessive. We have our typical Sunday morning service and then a more “relaxed” service in the evening. While many Sunday nights are a sermon, we have also had everything from a movie to a comedian. Then on Wednesday nights we have youth group and the adults attend a Bible study.
At this point, my thinking is that Sunday mornings are not an option. I know I can’t force faith onto any of my children. They can attend three times a week every week and never complain, yet their faith could still not be there. So it isn’t that I trust solely in church attendance when it comes to where they stand.
But church is the foundation to our family. I believe that if I allow my almost-teenage-son to skip, I am chipping away at the foundation. And to be honest, I also have to consider why he doesn’t want to go. He would rather sleep in. Not a valid reason, if you ask me.
I am also not making youth group on Wednesday nights an option. The benefits to a service geared toward teenagers are just way too important in my mind. Again, I consider his reason for not wanting to go and it’s because he would rather stay home and play video games.
So the only option I am making available at this time is Sunday night. It is a difficult decision to make, when you have been doing something for so many years and suddenly you have a child who challenges it.
What about you? Do you think children or teens should be forced to attend church?
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Photo by Wolfgang Staudt on Flickr