Organization is the saving grace of the single parent. At least, that is what I lean on to keep things from feeling too chaotic and overwhelming. As a matter of fact, I remember when I was first separated and divorced—getting organized was what helped me to build confidence and realize that I really could survive and thrive as a single mom. Now that my children are older teens, I don’t really need to coordinate and oversee the scheduling and transfers like I used to—but for younger, busier two-household families, a calendar to share between houses can be a very good thing.
With computers and desktop printing, it is so easy now to do a calendar of kids’ events and lessons, custody dates and transfers, out-of-town visitors, sleepovers, and holidays. You might even want to add your work schedule, or any out of town business trips that are planned and on the horizon. All of this information can be put into a calendar format and you don’t even have to actually hand a hard copy to your ex—you can e-mail it to save postage, time, and paper! Of course, there is some time needed to input and format the information, but the chaos it may save having everyone on the same page might just be worth it. You could even have a document that both parents share and make changes to and send back and forth for added efficiency and accuracy.
Whether or not to do a calendar or schedule will depend on how many children you have and how busy your lives are. Some people can keep everything straight in their heads just fine while the more children, houses, and the more often the children travel between the parents’ houses can all add to the opportunities for events and responsibilities to be missed. One of the good things about a written calendar is that it adds to the “business” relationship that single parents need to establish with their ex and the co-parent. Having everything down in organized writing can help eliminate power struggles and lingering disputes.
See Also: Developing a Communication Style That Works With the Ex and Thinking of the Other Parent as a Business Partner