Recently FatherBlogger started a forum topic about the best way for a boy to learn to respect women. I suggested a boy needed the example at home of a father who showed that respect to his wife. But it really goes much deeper than that.
Marriage to me is about love certainly, but also respect and loyalty to each other. I am horrified sometimes to hear the way women deride their husbands to other women. Where is the loyalty to the one they are married to?
By the same token there are guys who publicly ridicule and sling off about their wives to their mates as Lyn mentioned in her blog.
Mick and I’ve been married a long time and I know that he would not make cracks or negative comments about me to his friends, any more than I would about him to my friends. It’s all about what that Aretha Franklin song said RESPECT.
Because I love and respect him I would not criticize or make negative comments about him to friends and I know he feels the same way and would not treat what we have so lightly as to do that either. The thing is I would not say anything behind his back to others that I wouldn’t say if he was standing right next to me.
When we promise to love and honor and to give ourselves to another person for better or for worse that doesn’t mean sharing the worse with all our friends. It means honoring our commitment to the one we are married to. If we have a problem with something our partner is doing then it is him (or her – for you guys) that we need to talk it over with – not whine to those outside the marriage relationship.
Only the two inside a marriage relationship can really know what goes on inside that marriage. Otherwise friends are only getting an edited version and you can be sure the person telling the tale is careful to edit it their way.
So next time you’re ready to go tell your friend about him, why not pick your moment and than calmly tell him what the problem is. It’s sure to have more effect and benefit your marriage more.
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