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One of the reasons we decided to adopt children from the foster care system was the fact we wanted more than one child. As a couple nearing our 40’s we felt if we were not going to have children biologically related to us–we would adopt children related to each other. We started our adoption process with the intention of adopting siblings through our state foster care system.
There were definite advantages and disadvantages to adopting two children at the same time. The advantages were in the process and work we needed to do in order to have our state adoption applications and home study completed. We adopted two children at the same time therefore we did all the steps once and never needed to redo a thing. If we had adopted both children separately we would have had several steps which would need to be updated or done again. So for families who want to grow fast sibling adoptions are a nice way to accomplish a quick increase in the family head-count.
The disadvantages are mainly at the time of transition and placement into our homes. Parents go from no children or a number of children they are used to and suddenly there age two or more new members. Family dynamics take time to establish and there are more relationship variables to deal with. Stages of blending and bonding may take place a little slower and differently then it might if only one new person joined the family.
Parents adopting more than one baby or child at a time have a longer adjustment period for all the changes in the family. Adopting siblings requires a strong and stable family as well as a good support system. Parents need to have a clear plan of action and give time to adjust expectations and be open minded to changing what they do and how they do it. Parents adopting siblings need to plan time together for both working on the situation but also for time together as a couple.
Families adding more then one baby or child need to have a respite plan in place. The parents should make it a priority to have at least a few hours a week to get away and be together. The most important thing parents need to remember is to take care of themselves and each other. Eventually, everyone settles in and services and needs are taken care of and the family gets to the point where things are normal for the changes which have taken place.
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For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.