Single Parent By Chance or Choice

Everywhere you look there is an article about single parents, but even more lately, articles about women choosing to become single parents. We live in a world that will allow us, thanks to technology, to have children long past our natural reproductive years. Many more women today choose to be single mothers. Personally, I can’t imagine that choice, not because I think it’s wrong but because I know it’s hard. Raising Hailey alone is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and she was ten when I got divorced.

For people, not just women, to decide that they’ve waited long enough, they want children, with or without the perfect partner, I have nothing but admiration. People who think that women who decide to have children alone are selfish, have no idea what they are talking about. Raising a child, especially alone, is the most selfless thing you can do.

I think single parents by choice are better prepared than most of us are when we are thrust into single parenting. I know when I became a single parent I was constantly worried about how I was going to be able to afford it all, and the logistics of everything.

People who decide to become single parents have thought all these things through; single parenthood doesn’t come as a surprise as it did too many of us. They are financially and emotionally ready to raise a child on their own. They have worked out day care and transportation issues; they have everything in place for when they are alone with this tiny little person they are solely responsible for. That’s something I wish I could have been better prepared for.

That doesn’t mean they don’t need the support of other moms, they do, just like the rest of us. Whether you are a single parent by choice or by chance there is no instruction book and the best thing you can have is a group of supportive people who love you and your child and are willing to be there when you need help.