Most women think very little about intimacy immediately following a divorce but eventually, intimacy becomes a natural desire. I know when I first became divorced the last thing I wanted to think about was dating, let alone being intimate with someone. Then, I had concerns on how I would handle things with the small children. In this article, I wanted to share some thoughts with you specific to single parenting and intimacy.
First and most importantly, I would highly recommend that you never become involved in an intimate relationship with the children in the home. You need to remember that the children have just lost the father being in the home full-time and having a man over soon after the divorce will only cause confusion and probably some animosity. Instead, when you reach the point of being in an intimate relationship with someone, make sure you are together at his place or on the weekends when the kids are gone.
Keep in mind that women typically need to feel loved before they have sex, unlike men that usually like to have sex and then fall in love. Therefore, you need to set your ground rules from the beginning and then stick by them. I found out the hard way that many men in the dating scene promise you the moon but once the relationship turns intimate, their behavior changes to a lack of respect.
There is certainly nothing wrong with having an intimate relationship but to maintain your dignity and integrity make the man date you. After all, nothing is wrong with a man taking you on dates to the movies, out to dinner, plays, sporting events, and so on before things turn intimate. Ultimately, you will feel better waiting and he will respect you more. The last thing you want is to get involved with every person you meet, then realize after the fact that you just let your guard down.
I can tell you that I passed on intimacy with several men that I dated because I had no emotional tie. Usually what happened was that once the man realized I was not going to give in, he was gone. I came to a point in my life where I decided if I stay single forever, it would certainly be better than going through another divorce. Then, I met Bill, a warm, sensitive, and loving man who treats me like a queen. We have a beautiful relationship that is based on trust and love. My point – be encouraged that sometimes, waiting is better than jumping right into intimacy.
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