For some reason, many single parents seem to feel as though their life is happening without their consent—that they no longer have any choices and each day is just a series of “have to dos.” In reality, even though life may not have turned out how you expected, you are still in control and you do still have plenty of choices.
I think that given in to the feeling that you’ve run out of choices can contribute to depression and a feeling of helplessness. I definitely know what it feels like to suddenly be in a situation as a single parent where you feel as though your choices have been diminished—BUT, getting and taking control is an important step to normalizing things and being able to create a secure, safe environment for your child or children.
Trust me, you still have plenty of choices—it may not be super-easy, and it may take some patience and coordination and a great deal of will and strength, but you can still do all sorts of things. From huge endeavors like changing jobs or going back to school, a move, changing friends or social activities, choosing a new school for your child, starting an exercise program or changing your eating style (vegetarianism?)—you are not as trapped or stuck in a rut as you think. As a matter of fact, many single parents find that they actually end up with even more choices as a single parent since they don’t have to confer and coordinate with a spouse or partner.
Attitude is everything! Your life is not over and while you may be in a temporary pickle, you are not permanently backed into a corner. There is a world of choices and opportunities out there and being a single parent is no reason to give up on your ability to pick and choose and make your life (and the world of your family) your own!
Also: Letting Go of Images and Expectations
Unexpected Outcomes of Single Parenting