Some Guest Cleanup Strategies

For everything in life there is a plan and cleaning up after your guests leave is no exception. But you do have to think about it: what to do first, for example, after you decide to move rather than face it. Here are some thoughts about how to tackle the mess right after your guests leave, or at least a big part of it.

Do as much as possible the moment your guests have pulled out of your driveway on their way down the road to bother other unsuspecting relatives. Even if you are dead tired, most messes will look even worse in the cold light of day. Don’t think about doing everything at once. Concentrate on the dishes and the kitchen. (Say to yourself: “Go away, kitchen, go away, dishes.”) This is important if you want to avoid the other kind of unwanted guest: the kind that crawls with many, many yucky legs.

There is something to be said about working when you are so tired you could fall asleep where you stand. Set a timer for a fifteen-minute assault after which you give yourself permission to collapse. The ticking is psychological fodder to keep going, and you will be amazed at what you can accomplish in such a short time, especially if you work the room from left to right. It’s an efficient way to gauge your progress as you go. (If you can’t tell which way is left to right, then you really are too tired to work and should go directly to bed without passing go or collecting two hundred dollars.)

Use one good all-purpose cleaner like a mix of distilled vinegar and water. (Whatever you do, don’t drink it by mistake thinking it’s coffee.) Put some jazzy music on and get moving. Music not only soothes the savage beast; it also can make cleanup bearable.

After the fifteen minutes are up, go to sleep. Your last waking thoughts should concern the guests who have caused your fatigue and the decision that they will never do it again!

Good night and good luck!

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About Marjorie Dorfman

Marjorie Dorfman is a freelance writer and former teacher originally from Brooklyn, New York. A graduate of New York University School of Education, she now lives in Doylestown, PA, with quite a few cats that keep her on her toes at all times. Originally a writer of ghostly and horror fiction, she has branched out into the world of humorous non-fiction writing in the last decade. Many of her stories have been published in various small presses throughout the country during the last twenty years. Her book of stories, "Tales For A Dark And Rainy Night", reflects her love and respect for the horror and ghost genre.