This week my family celebrated my stepmother’s birthday at a restaurant. I asked my daughter if she would like to have her boyfriend join us, which of course she did. It has been my goal to take advantage of any opportunity to get to know him.
Now this isn’t the norm, I realize. Most of the time when teens are dating, the parents are kind of on the outside trying to look in. Not this mom. I am an involved (please don’t mistake it for smothering) parent.
The great thing is that my daughter has absolutely no problem with this. He has been slowly integrating into our family and has been a nice fit. He gets along well with my sons and is very respectful. We really do like him.
I have also been quite pleased at the pace my daughter and him have chosen to go. It is very slow moving. No feelings of love are being declared for each other but most importantly—and this is something I have heard Dr. Phil talk about it—my daughter hasn’t changed.
I do enjoy watching Dr. Phil, especially the programs that deal with teen issues. Last week there was a show on where he was talking about a teen’s relationship and he made the remark that if it causes you to become a different person, then something isn’t right.
This girl in the show stopped hanging out with her friends, stopped enjoying the things she once did…all in the name of “love.” It was a very unhealthy relationship.
So I have been very thankful at what I am seeing in my daughter. There is definitely nothing changing about her. She continues to hang out with her friends and in fact, still puts her best friend before him. She still enjoys doing the things she has always done. Her personality is the same and she doesn’t act different when she is around him.
This is something important to look for when it comes to teen dating. If you see your teen beginning to change, to withdraw or become isolated, then something isn’t right.
Relationships aren’t meant to change the person you are. They are meant to add to your life.
Related Articles:
The Magical Experience of Homecoming
Advantages to Having Your Teen’s Friends Over
Teen Dating: When Your Teen Isn’t Ready
Teen Dating: When Your Teen Is Ready
Photo by americanistadechiapas in Flickr