Even if you have only one child, if you are sharing custody or trying to coordinate visits with a non-custodial parent, scheduling and communication take center stage. The best way that I have found to make sure everybody on both sides of the family know what is going on is to make sure that we periodically compare notes and synchronize our calendars.
I do not want to give the impression that I am perfect or that things do not fall through the cracks. With three kids and two households, it is fairly tough to keep everyone on the same page, but I do try. As my children have gotten older, they have been able to take a more active role in scheduling and making sure we all know who is doing what, but that has really added more human bodies that need to coordinate the calendars. Additionally, there are always going to be last minute things, those activities that pop up or that kids forget until the last minute, but the more you can scratch down on the calendar in advance, the less likely either parent (or grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.) are to miss important things.
I do not talk to my children’s father as often as I used to when they were younger. Now we probably talk on the phone twice a month and when we do, we cover the immediate concerns and then do a check-in with activities and calendars. He tells me if there is anything on his radar and I share my upcoming events. In addition to the kids’ activities and events, we also will share if we are going to be out of town or we have any parties or other major events coming up that could affect our children and our schedules. Being able to communicate well enough to synchronize the calendars is important to the child’s continuity and sense of well-being.
Also: Preventing Miscommunications
Keep Your Legal Stuff Up-to-Date
How Flexible do You Have to be With Your Custody Arrangements?