I can’t always get grumpy at the people I want to get grumpy at. Okay, maybe I COULD get grumpy at them, but I’m choosing not to for whatever reason. As much as I’d like to be the pleasant, angelic mother—there are days when I walk through the door, or bring along all my crabbiness from the day that was, and dump it all out in my living room. Just as it is often easier for my kids to take their crabby days out on me, I have to work extra-hard some days not to take my crabby days out on my children.
While it is probably a common plight for single parents to find themselves short-fused and short-tempered with their children at the end of a hectic day—I don’t think it is a reality that is relegated just to single parents. Sometimes, I think we might not even know the extent to our grumpiness until we find ourselves exploding over a spilled glass of milk or a pile of dirty shoes at the front door. It can take a minute to figure out what we really are grumpy about and get things in perspective.
Take a walk, stop off for a cup of coffee or to wander a book store before coming home, go straight into the bathroom and take a bath—spend thirty minutes in the garden. I’ve learned that if I can put a little buffer between the outside world and interacting with my kids, I’m less likely to dump on them. The same goes for if I have a stressful phone call or a stressful interaction with one child—I try to take a break before interacting with another. Otherwise, it seems to be the natural course of things for my feelings about one person or one crabby activity lap onto another. And that is definitely not fair.
See Also: Dear Heather…I’m Exhausted