Last year, someone in my ward did me a grievous wrong. I had done everything I could to forestall the situation, but she escalated it to the point where her actions became illegal. I finally went in and talked to the bishop, and he, being a good man and also a lawyer, called her into his office and explained the ramifications of her actions. She stopped what she was doing and the situation improved, and yet, I found myself wanting even more vindication.
Soon, I was telling the story two or three times a week. I wanted others to know how far this woman had gone, how hurt I was, and I wanted the validation that came from others telling me how right I was. It wasn’t enough for me that this woman was now on the bishop’s radar—I wanted more.
I’m ashamed to say, it took me a little while to realize that my actions were completely inappropriate. I should have trusted the bishop to handle everything. But I’d been justifying to myself—you see, I wasn’t sharing the story around the ward, just to my friends and family. That made it all right, didn’t it? What I was doing was refusing to let myself forgive. I was feeding those feelings of hurt without trying to overcome them.
I think we sometimes have the tendency to try to take justice into our own hands. We’re worried that Sally Mae won’t really be punished for all the bad stuff she’s done, and so we tell others about it, to try to help the wheels move along in the right direction, of course. And don’t we all have an Aunt Betsy somewhere in the family, who can sweet talk her way out of anything, and never faces up to the consequences of her actions? We get a little worried that she’ll get off scot-free come Judgment Day because she’s always gotten away with everything before.
Our Heavenly Father knows everything, and He sees everything. He knows Betsy smooched her brother-in-law in the kitchen, but He also knows what she was thinking at the time. He will not allow any of us to get off scot-free, but He will also take all things into consideration. He will think about our circumstances, how much we had been taught, and how much culpability we had in the situation, and His judgments will be absolutely just. He will not be sweet talked. He will know the truth of all things. Therefore, it’s not necessary for you or me to try to execute judgment or to “prove” how right we are or to tell everyone how wronged we were—He’s got it all under control.
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