Here are a few anecdotes shared by married folks I know:
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell
A husband was asleep and his wife continued trying to wake him up. He continued to answer, more of a grunt, “In a minute.”
Finally, his wife called from the other room, “Are you sleeping?” Apparently, he was half-asleep since his response was, “With who?”
Needless to say, the response did not go over well with his wife and he was soon up out of bed and trying to make amends.
Short Sheeted
A young couple married and moved into their new home. The wife (my aunt) worked hard to keep the home clean and comfortable, including stripping the bed and laundering the sheets each week. She only had two matching sets of sheets, both wedding gifts, and both the same solid color.
For their first anniversary, the bride’s mother gave a new set of bath towels and a set of print sheets as a gift. The young wife quickly put the sheets on the bed.
When her husband returned from work, he smiled approvingly at the sheets. His wife was surprised that he’d notice much less be pleased about sheets. When she asked him why, he sheepishly replied, “I didn’t want to insult your housekeeping, but it’s about time you changed the sheets.”
After her initial dismay at his thinking she hadn’t changed the sheets in a year’s time, she was touched that he hadn’t said anything because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She’s been telling this story at every family wedding since I was old enough to remember.
You’re on the Air
A man called home to speak with his wife one evening while working late and decided to make the conversation a little spicy. His wife, having no idea what he was up to, was busy washing dishes so she put him on speakerphone. Soon, suds were flying as she pulled her hands from the dishwater and ran to turn off the speaker but her sister and a friend had already heard too much. She vowed never to put her husband on speakerphone again without informing him, but he still blushes when he sees her sister or her friend.