Feminism likes to promote the idea that women can “do it all”. I challenge this theory when it is applied to a woman who has made a conscious choice to have children. I do not think that women can “do it all” while raising a family and chasing after their careers.
I will preface this article a bit before I go on so you know where I am coming from. It’s important for you to know a bit of history so that you know where my opinion comes from.
1. I have been a married working mother.
2. I have been a single, working mother.
3. I am currently a married stay at home mother.
I have been on all sides of the coin here, and feminism doesn’t work for a woman who has children. Yes, yes, yes, we should have the right to vote and our inalienable rights under the Constitution, but when did having those rights mean putting our families and our children behind our careers?
I know some women have to work. I understand that. I was there. There are certain circumstances where a woman has to take a job to put food on the table or buy clothes for her children. I’m not directing my comments to you. Even studies show that women who have to work are more likely to secure proper childcare than women who choose to work. Do you realize that according to the Urban Institute statistics, that thirty five percent of 10-12 year olds have self-care as the primary form of care while their mother is working, and 7 percent of 6 year olds? That means that we have a number of children under the age of twelve fending for themselves between the times they get out of school until a parent comes home. And what makes matters worse is that higher income families are more apt to leave their children alone than those families who fall below the poverty level.
Why? Why are women buying into the feminism lie that we should be doing it all? How is staying home and raising your children not “doing it all”? What do I have to prove to myself by going out and taking some kind of high-pressure job and leaving my children behind to be cared for by somebody else? What will I gain? Am I worth more as a woman if I am out of the house working for somebody else? Do I find my identity in a workplace?
You tell me. Tell me why you think that women should pursue their careers over raising their children (outside of financial considerations). Tell me one thing that is more important than raising your children. Tell me one reason why we should all buy into the idea that we can “do it all”. Go ahead, tell me.