When it comes to imagining babies, it’s natural to imagine Hallmark moments. There’s the sleeping baby. There’s the laughing baby. There’s the baby cooing. What few people really think about are the babies that cry and cry and cry.
It’s very natural for babies to cry. In fact, it’s necessary for babies to cry so that we know they need something. What boggles most people (especially women) is that we are biologically programmed to respond to a baby’s crying. First time parents can find themselves on edge when the baby seems to cry all the time.
It’s important to understand that there is no ‘right’ amount of crying. Some babies are as happy as the day is long and cry very little. Some cry all the time. A lot of first time parents and even parents of second children may find themselves wanting to pull their hair out and ask “Why does my baby cry like this?”
Easy answer: a baby cries because a baby cannot talk. A baby is a human being. A baby has needs. It has desires. Imagine you want something to eat, but you can’t open a refrigerator. You can’t prepare a meal. You can’t even say “please give me something to eat.” What would you do?
Yep, you’d cry.
A baby is a small person and they have to learn how to articulate their needs. The only way they have in the beginning is crying. A fussy baby is not necessarily an unhappy baby, they are just exercising their right to let you know they want something.
Mothers and fathers learn through trial and error what crying is asking for. Ask any mom and after only a few short weeks she can probably tell you that her baby cries differently for different needs.
When my little one was a baby, she would shriek when she was in a soaking diaper. She’d mewl cry when she had a dirty one. She yowled when she was hungry. She would hiccup cry when gas plagued her. She’d whimper when she wanted to be held.
Strangers might not hear the subtle differences in the different types of cries, but they are there. Parents hear them because they are intimately familiar with their child’s habit. So your baby cries to communicate. When we respond to that communication, it doesn’t inspire them to cry more – it inspires them to communicate more.
One of the most annoying things someone told me when my baby cried and I went to pick her up was “You’ll spoil that child if you go every single time she cries.”
My response was dry then and it’s dry now.
“You want to ignore your child, you go ahead. Responding to a child’s request for assistance or communication will not spoil them. But I’ll just ignore you instead. Cause I wouldn’t want to spoil you by listening to your advice.”
Remember that child development experts are not always those that hold degrees. The original child development experts were and are: Moms.