The Hold-up

Sometimes I’m a big fan of hold-ups. Not the kind that involves banks, money, robbers, firearms, the police, witnesses, etc., but the kind that involves something stopping a project temporarily. I remember being a student and thinking that an extension on that paper I hadn’t started because the teacher had taken ill was an amazing gift from God. How fortunate to have even more “last minutes” to work with than I did before I heard the news. I didn’t wish sickness on my teachers, of course, but I did enjoy the temporary stall and the extra time. This was something that I viewed as fortunate and valuable from the perspective of being a student. It was a gift. Over my past decade as a student, however, things have changed. Despite my occasional bouts with procrastination I’m now quite productive on a day-to-day basis. When things slow me down I become upset. And when things really slow me down I become very upset.

Be it a computer program, a response, an approval, or something else: hold-ups are detrimental to my well being. Just recently I was held up by approval (I’ve spoken about it before in previous posts), and having to wait really does drag one down. It’s like treading water in the ocean on a cloudy day. You’re not getting burned, there are no killer fish around, and there’s not even an island in sight… but that’s the trouble: you have nothing to do and no hope for the future. Each and every minute acts as a mirage of sorts. You “think” you hear a ship, or see a lighthouse, or something of the sort but you don’t. How unfortunate for you. If I were a better person — more strong willed — I might be able to turn this situation into an opportunity. I could, perhaps, find some other obligation or occupation to take up my time waiting. I didn’t do too well on that front. Worry took over. Worry about the hold-up.