The state of marriage changed over the years. When our grandparents got married, there was no expectation of divorce. They knew that they were going to have to work together to get things done. That meant sometimes they had two jobs and took care of their children. Sometimes that meant one partner had to travel for their work or even stayed miles away while they worked.
Modern marriage does not come with such assurances or understanding. Modern marriage has a loophole. It’s called divorce. We are not as inspired to work out our problems or find solutions as we should be. The climbing divorce rate is a demonstrable of that attitude.
Marriage is hard. It’s difficult and it’s not the easiest thing you will ever do. Marriage is not a fairy tale and it’s not perfect. We are not characters in a Bogart/Bacall movie, we are real, flesh-and-blood, imperfect individuals. When we get married, we make a commitment and that commitment should mean more than: ‘… until I’m done.’
I’m not talking about staying in an abusive relationship or allowing you to be terrorized. Heck no. When that occurs, get out. Think about the vows you make:
- For Better, For Worse
- For Richer, For Poorer
- In sickness and in health
Those vows mean exactly what they say. When money issues strike, you both have to work together. Sometimes that means you both have to make sacrifices and compromises, but more than that, you have to remember that just because you disagree, argue or can’t find a compromise, you aren’t doomed.
My husband and I don’t always get along. Sometimes we have some pretty huge disagreements. On some of them, we’ve agreed to disagree. Examine your expectations of marriage and ask your partner about theirs. And remember, expectations will change over the years. What your expectations were when you were first married will not be identical to the expectations we have today. Your expectations will be different ten years from now.
Accepting the evolution of your relationship is the marriage revolution. Who you are when you first met, when you first married and who you are today and tomorrow are all different. You become more and change over time as will your spouse. Embracing those changes, celebrating them and taking advantage of them will strengthen your relationship.
- Don’t give up just because you disagree.
- Don’t go away from each other just because you grow.
Enjoy your marriage revolution and remember for every worse, there is a better. For every poorer, there is a richer and for every sickness, there is health.