Maybe you have already decided you would like to adopt a baby, child, or sibling group from the state foster care system or one or more of the estimated 120,000 waiting children legally free to be adopted nationally. But, once you have decided now what?
Interested adoptive families often have no idea where to start or how to find their local resource for Adopting Special Needs or Waiting Children in state foster care programs. My advice is to start by visiting the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, NAIC, and explore the information provided by the federal government. On this Web site families will gain a better understanding of the federal issues as well as the programs and services provided by their own state.
Each state has their own program and procedures for potential adoptive families therefore it is important to familiarize yourself with your own state’s children’s services. The first step is to contact your local children’s services office and ask about the Foster to Adopt or Straight Adoption programs. This first contact, in many cases, can be discouraging.
It is estimated that fewer then 10% of the calls to the state regarding adoption result in a family actually pursuing the training and starting the process. Usually, a families first call will be answered by a receptionist or screener, who may or may not seem responsive to your interest due to the large number of contacts they receive and the fact that 90% of these contacts do not lead to families becoming adoptive placements.
Your first call may leave you feeling somewhat discounted or with the impression that your state is not in great need of families. Do Not take this personally and remember it may be a few weeks before someone acts like they are happy you would want to provide a child with a forever family. These are the same offices that work with everyone who is accessing the human services in your area and we need to keep in mind the majority of contact the people who answer the phones have is with the part of the community in need or in the system. The office is not used to speaking with people who are serious and calling to offer something. We need to remember this fact when we make our first contact and all along during the process.
Often, the phone screener will have a script and several questions to ask you. Depending on your answers you will either be told that you want more than you can expect or at best you will be asked to provide your address so a packet of information may be mailed to you. One important question most families are asked during this fist contact is if you are interested in adopting a child under the age of 2 and in some cases even older.
Families interested in adopting very young children will in, most cases, be told they will have better success in having their dreams met by contacting a private adoption agency and pursuing a domestic infant adoption. Everyone would like to adopt a newborn and most people would like to adopt the youngest child they possibly can. Because, more families want babies and fewer newborns and young children are in the foster care system or at a point where adoption had become the case plan the state will advise you they simply do not have children under a certain age and you should go elsewhere.
The fact is that every family interested in adopting very young children will not be able to do so therefore the state will discourage you. If you are asked what age child you are willing to adopt keep an open mind and suggest you are open to a wide age range and continue to investigate this path.
The truth is there are more older children to place but, families may be surprised how many young children and occasionally newborns are placed for adoption. Many families who start the process with the state are often surprised by the young age of a child placed. Some families who were only interested in adopting a child under the age of 2 years old are also surprised with themselves that during the training and process your heart becomes more accepting of an older child.
The goal of your first contact with the state is to have the information and Adoption or Foster to Adopt application, training opportunities and resources sent to you. It is okay to say that you are interested in older children and have an open mind to the screener because you might eventually be or you may be one of the fortunate families who are placed with a very young child. Until you actually turn in your applications you are not required to make any firm decisions or commit to adopting a 14 year old.
Let the screener know that you are simply interested and open minded about the age range and you will have better success of getting things started with your state.
Special Needs and Adoption-Related Terms:
A | B | C | D | E-F | G-H-I | J-K-L | M | N-O | P | Q-R | S | T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z
For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.