As single parents, we may be tempted to get wrapped up in the world we are trying to create (or re-create). Many of us feel compelled to stay focused and dedicated to work, keeping our homes and families in order, and trying to minimize chaos. It can be hard to see things from our child’s perspective—especially when it comes to issues with the child’s other parent or other touchy topics. I think it can be helpful to try to step outside of ourselves and see things from our child’s perspective. Instead of always thinking about how things make US feel—it can be a good step to try to imagine how we would feel or react if we were our children…
How would you feel or react if you were put in the middle between two warring parents? How would you feel if your mom or dad was suddenly stressed, angry, sad, or experiencing some other overwhelming emotion? How would you respond if you had to change houses, neighborhoods, friends, ect. against your will? How would you respond if your schedule changed drastically or other major changes went down in your life overnight? Can you see how looking at things from our child’s perspective can be a good way of getting out of our own heads and down onto the level of our child?
I do think that understanding is the key in helping our children to heal and move forward. It is also a good way for us to be able to see a situation more objectively as the parent. If we can get outside of our own perspective and imagine how what is happening is affecting our child or children, we can also heal and move on without getting stuck in a certain trap of one-sided perspective.