How many times do you warn your kids before you administer a punishment? Is it three? Five? Depends on how you are feeling? As you know, consistency is the name of the game when we discipline. Your kids have to know what to expect in order for any method to work. Dr. Jerry Day describes a corrective teaching method called the three-level method of discipline.
The first level is a warning. This is done with no penalty attached. It’s when you tell your kids to stop tormenting the cat, bickering among themselves or climbing on the furniture. If they take the warning serious and stop, that’s great. It’s a way for your kids to self-correct their own behavior without any punishment. If not, then you have to move to the second level, a mild punishment. If your kids are bickering and won’t stop, they may have to go to their room or not have any T.V. time, for example.
The third and final level, the atomic bomb, is the severest punishment. When a warning or mild punishment does not stop the behavior, then you may have to ground your kids for a week, remove privileges or exact other punishments. Again, if you are consistent, hopefully you won’t have to resort to the third level too often. The hope is that your kids will heed your warning and correct the behavior on their own or with the aid of a mild punishment.
Another point Day made is that just because your kids are punished does not mean you still can’t have fun with them or allow them to do other things. He related a story of how his foster daughter had reached the atomic level. Her punishment- she couldn’t use the phone for a week. She was pouting in her room when he came in and asked if she wanted to accompany him on an errand and on the way back they would stop off for ice cream. She responded that she thought she was in trouble. He reminded her that she was grounded from using the phone not from leaving the house or eating ice cream!
Sometimes after we punish our kids, we get an attitude. We have to remember that once we dish out the punishment we have to move on. It’s over and done with. We can still have fun with our kids but they still have to serve their time. It shows them that no matter what they do we still love them and want to do things with them.
See also:
How To: Use Consequences To Change Behavior
Is Your Method Of Discipline Working?
Rehearsing Appropriate Behavior