Time, why you punish me?
Remember that line from Hootie and the Blowfish’s hit single “Time”? It haunts me this time of year.
Actually, it more than just haunts me, “Time” is my theme song during the back-to-school season.
Time, time
You ain’t no friend of mine
I don’t know where I’m going
I think I’m out of my mind
Thinking about time
Actually, it’s the theme song of my life.
Time. I’m constantly running out of it. Constantly competing against it. Constantly wishing that I had more of it.
Time kicks my butt every.single.day.
It’s never on my side, regardless of how early I wake up or how late I go to bed.
My battle against time has gotten bloodier since becoming a parent, and during seasons like back-to-school, time often becomes a mortal enemy.
It’s not so much that I have to juggle multiple paying jobs with housework, parenting, shopping for school supplies, ironing out enrollment issues, sewing school uniforms and chauffeuring my child to summer activities that don’t end until the week before school starts. Rather, the issue for me is figuring out how to carve out quality time with my child before she begins her first day of “real” school.
Last year my daughter was enrolled in half-day kindergarten. This year she tells me she’s going to “real” school because she will remain in class for the entire day, just like the “big kids.”
It’s going to be a huge adjustment for both of us.
Making matters worse is the daily war I wage against my ceaseless nemesis: time.
I never seem to have enough time. There are never enough hours in the day, weeks in the year, years in my life… to spend with the incredible little being who I have the privilege of parenting.
I marvel at her growth, but weep at how quickly the years have gone by and how these amazing days of her youth are slipping away at record-breaking speed.
Wasn’t it just yesterday that I was mouthing the words, “ball,” “dog,” and “mama” to her desperately hoping that it wouldn’t be long before she uttered her first syllable?
Fast forward five years and I’m now dealing with a kid who chatters incessantly.
But I dare not complain about it because time is listening… and watching… and moving. Time waits for no one and before I know it my little chatterbox will be a mute teen who barely acknowledges my existence.
I hate how quickly time passes and how these carefree days of summer are going to be gone before I know it.
Parenthood brings with it a host of frustrations, but the thing I despise the most is that there will never be enough time to show my child how much I love her. How do you fit an eternity of love in a single lifetime?
Time, why you punish me?