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Tips For “Thinkers” and “Feelers”

Recently I have discussed how in many cases opposites attract during courtship but face troubles with their differences in marriage. So far the opposite types studied have been in decision making. Some people make decisions based on their heart and gut feelings. Other people make decisions based on logic and reasoning.

In past articles I have talked about why these two types of people possibly were attracted to one another in the beginning and why they face troubles in marriage. I also offered some tips on how a “thinker” can better relate to a “feeler”. Those tips are continued below.

Do not label the “feeler” as being an irrational person. Just because the “feeler” expresses feelings and may gets upset does not mean that he/she cannot reason.

Be cautious about your words. “Feelers” need to feel loved and appreciated through the words that their mates speak.

However, “thinkers” often feel that this sweet talk is useless and a waste of time. Try saying something nice and thoughtful.

Now for advice on how “feelers” can better relate to “thinkers”.

Do not take it personally. “Thinkers” are not into feelings as you are. They say things that likely come across as cold and insensitive. Try not to let these things get to you. They are not meant personally against you. They are simply the personality of the “thinker”.

Be appreciative of his/her ability to think. “Thinkers” want their thoughts recognized just as you want your feelings recognized.

Be careful about how you phrase your thoughts. “Thinkers” think in terms of reasoning. Therefore when you state your feelings try to back it up by giving reasons on why you feel that way.

Be direct and forget hints. “Thinkers” are not tuned into feelings. They are not going to pick up on any hints that you try to give toward your feelings or thoughts. This will only leave you disappointed. Therefore be direct in your needs and desires.