When we were doing our one attempt at InvetroFertilazation we were also investigating adoption on the side. We knew there were many options and that each one had its pro’s and con’s. We were pushing 40 years old and we also knew we didn’t actually have to adopt a newborn. In some ways we felt that adopting a new born might be a little selfish given our ages. It was also one of the reasons we chose to not pursue IVF or a donor egg.
That opened up the option of considering International Adoption. We investigated it and found that in order to adopt internationally the costs are high and that you have to travel in many cases more then once. We are not the kind that actually enjoys traveling much. And we had some negative feelings about the cost just as we had with the paying for the scientific methods. It just seemed like a lot when you got into the multiple thousands of dollars.
We could actually afford any method IVF or adoption no matter which path we chose. In some ways being able to afford it made us have negative feelings. We did not want our children to ever feel purchased and we were hearing remarks from friends that made us feel like some people felt we “could” buy a baby. For us being able to add a child to our family in any way we so chose was actually a handicap. We could see that many people would just assume that we paid to have our children and for us that was socially and morally unacceptable.
One evening we were talking and my husband said, “Honey, if our children cannot be genetically related to us it would be so awesome if they were related to each other.” And that was the moment that it became very clear to us which adoption path we needed to take. We would adopt siblings and the best way to do that is to find them waiting in a Foster Home. So we contacted our county Children’s Services office and asked for the Adoption Information to be sent to us.