When I was a kid (and, granted, I grew up in the rather permissive seventies), there were a few things that absolutely weren’t tolerated—at the top of the list was “sass and backtalk”—as in, “Don’t sass me!” And “What’s with all the backtalk?” I don’t even know if my own children would know what those two terms mean!
Talking back to parents, grandparents, teachers, and coaches was absolutely, positively not accepted if you were under the age of, say, eighteen. I notice my own children and their peers have been raised in a very different “Question Authority” sort of world. And, while I have surely been part of that “Question Authority” world that helped raise my kids’ generation, there are definitely days when I am craving some of that good old fashioned, “No backtalk!”
Now, just because times have changed, that doesn’t mean that I am completely acquiescent and have given up and given in. Instead of “sass and backtalk” I tend to talk in terms of respect, disrespect, and verbal abuse—I won’t tolerate my children speaking to me disrespectfully (of course, this does NOT mean that they don’t occasionally try—it just means that I won’t let it slide and I don’t tolerate it). My kids are all teenagers now, however, and whereas they wouldn’t have dared even attempt the disrespect a few years ago, they do try to assert their independence with what I think of us as classic backtalk on a fairly regular basis. And, despite “Question Authority,” I refuse to get on board with that sort of thing.
So, even though “sass and backtalk” may be from another time (or another place—perhaps in other parts of the country, it is still a mainstay of parenting and childrearing?), I’m still not standing by and giving in to anything goes…
See Also: When Your Child Ignores You in Public and Because I’m the Mom, That’s Why!