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Toddlers and Grossology

I consider myself fairly knowledgeable on all things baby. I mean really, it’s hard to have 5 kids and not know at least something right? I have studied breastfeeding research ad nauseum, am current with AAP guidelines (even the ones I disagree with), and even know a fair amount of psychology and child development. . .but one thing eludes me still. Why are toddlers fascinated with all things that are gross?

One might say, they are fascinated with their own bodies and well, our bodies do produce gross things now and then. But having five children in the house, I have to say. . .I don’t think that’s it. Things that ooze out of one’s mouth, drip out of one’s nose, or come out from. . .um. . .other orifices, are all fascinating fodder for the toddler mind.

Case Study #1: Poop on the Walls

Every family I know who has spent any length of time in potty training (which usually means that they have more than one child. . .but not always) as a poop on the wall story. Little Junior decides that he needs a diaper change and tries to do it himself and in the course of his new found skill he discovers. . .what’s this? Poop makes a satisfactory inking device for lovely light colored walls. Silly faces, simple smearing or some combination of Justin Pollack like art work all can be made through the medium of poop. And I can almost guarantee you. . .you have a little artist.

Case Study #2: The Infinity Rule

Okay I admit that I have a 5 second rule. If it falls on the floor in our house, the floors are relatively clean and well, I deem it safe for consumption as long as it’s not sitting there forever. (I do have to say there’s no scientific evidence for this rule.) Just a quick wash under the sink and voila, it’s as good as new. (And only for those things like fruit that can be washed under the sink.) But toddlers inevitably deem all food–on the floor or not–fair game. It can be there for infinity–if it’s food–it’s consumable. Depending on where you live this might not be that gross. Ahem. . .I live in New York City. Suffice it to say that there is no floored surface outside of this house from which I do not consider it gross to eat.

Case Study #3: That Twin Thing

Twins are even worse when it comes to grossness because they examine and “help” each other with their grossness. I have walked in on my twins changing each other’s diapers, helping each other wipe their noses, and pontificating on the merits of garbage.

One thing is for sure, parenting is not for the faint of heart. . .or squeamish of stomach.

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