Oh, the strong will that a toddler can possess! I clearly remember those days of my two and three year olds wanting to do their own thing. Who would have ever thought I would revisit those years when they became teenagers?
I have never told my teens that they act like toddlers. But in my mind I am often brought back to that time of the word, “No!” They stand their ground, ready to do battle. And the same can happen during these sometimes tumultuous years.
Here is the big difference. It may have sometimes been with some kicking and screaming, but I could at least physically pick up my toddlers and place them where I wanted to. I still had some semblance of control over them.
They didn’t want to get on their jacket? I would put it on.
They didn’t want to stop playing? I took the toy away.
I can’t pick up my teenagers and make them do anything. Sure, I can enforce rules. But the battle isn’t physical anymore. It is no longer the weariness of chasing after a toddler.
When they become teenagers, it becomes more of an emotional battle. And let me tell you…that can be just as exhausting or even more so.
So I think back to what I did in the days they were toddlers. How did I handle those challenging moments?
Sometimes it was allowing natural consequences to happen. I’m not talking about something dangerous here. I would never tell a two or three year old to not touch the iron and then let them experience a burn, in hopes they learned a lesson.
The same is true as teenagers. There are sometimes natural consequences but if there is a danger to them, I will protect them.
Other times I enforced discipline. While it will be different when they become teenagers, we have to remember that we are parents…not friends. So we need to be willing to do the hard thing.
The next time I hear a door slam or one of my teenagers stomp off, I will remember the days they were toddlers. Perhaps that picture will bring a little smile to my face. It will be my little secret.
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Photo by mdanys in Flickr