If you go into marriage knowing that your spouse will be gone often, it may be a bit easier to deal with, although it can still be stressful. However, when you start out doing everything together, and then your spouse’s new job takes him or her away often, it can be incredibly difficult to adjust.
I know from experience. I barely slept at all the first time my husband had to take a trip. Even now, when he’s home for a long time in between trips, I get used to him being here. It makes me miss him even more when he’s gone and I have to adjust all over again.
There are a few ways to limit the stress involved, for both spouses.
- Try to prepare yourself when you know your husband or wife is going to be leaving.
- Keep busy while he or she is gone.
- If you have kids, help your spouse understand if you need a break upon his or her return (it helps if you allow the other person a chance to get settled instead of attempting to run out the door as soon as he or she walks through it).
- Try not to be resentful. Talk about such feelings with your husband or wife.
For Your Spouse
- When your husband or wife calls while traveling, be upbeat when you answer the phone.
- Don’t overwhelm your spouse with every problem or mishap over the phone or as soon as he or she arrives at home.
- Let him know he (or she) will be missed while gone.
- Greet your husband or wife with enthusiasm upon return and try to arrange things so that the two of you can spend some time together.
*There is of course much more involved in adjusting to being away from each other, but over time, you’ll find ways that work. These simple tips will also help make things a little easier.