In Ann Dunnewold’s book, Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box, she writes that many parents attempt to fix what they hated about their own childhood using their kids as guinea pigs. Are you one of those parents? Don’t be. We have to remember that our kids won’t necessarily share our passions. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t expose our kids to things we longed for when we were kids. We simply have to step back and ask ourselves, Is this something my child wants, or is it something I want?
When I was a child, I longed to visit museums and art galleries. This was something we never did as a family. As soon as I left home at 18 and went out into the world, I made the art scene a part of my life. When Tyler came along, I wanted to share my love of art with him. So far, he shares my passion. I have not pushed him I have simply exposed him to the art world. If his passion starts to fizzle I will let him bow out without any hard feelings.
Some women dreamed of being ballerinas but never quite made it so they enroll their little girls in dance class as soon as they are able to walk. Never mind the child has no interest in dance. The same is true of fathers who push their sons to excel in sports when the kid would rather play chess or join the debate team. When we push our kids to live out our dreams sometimes disaster happens. Dunnewold points out two examples- Jessica Dubrof, who died because of her father’s dream that she become the youngest pilot to fly across the United States and JonBenet Ramsey, the six-year-old beauty queen.
We can’t relive our lives vicariously through our kids. It’s their live; please let them live it.
See also:
Let Kids Friendships Develop Naturally
Letting Our Kids Live Their Own Lives
Helicopter Parents: Are They Going Too Far