I am no expert on formula. In fact, I know very little about it. I breastfed my two older children, and am currently breastfeeding my third. Rarely did I ever give bottles. However, due to his complex food allergy issues, I am trying to wean him on to formula. This is an emotional process. It is difficult.
It’s been a few days since my last post about the emotional roller coaster of breastfeeding. I’m still working hard at giving him bottles during the day. He seems to be tolerating the formula well from a food allergy stand point, but I can tell he is missing the breast, and that part is killing me. I want to give it to him and I feel torn every time I fix a bottle. Why do I feel so much guilt? I truly feel like switching is the right thing for my baby, but I cannot help but feel like I could do more. I could cut out more foods than I already have, but I know that my family is suffering, so I know this is the right decision.
The hardest part for me will be weaning him for night feedings. I had hoped that the formula during the day would fill him up more and therefore, he would sleep longer stretches at night. However, so far, he has only slept 3 hour stretches rather than two. I will take it! But, getting him to take more formula during the day has to be the key. I am just not sure how to accomplish that goal.
Today, I have been giving him a bottle only. When he only drank 1 oz at nap time, and woke up 30 minutes later, I warmed a bottle and gave that to him instead of nursing him. The temptation is there for me, but I know what is best for me and my family is to try and help him fully switch to formula so hopefully my sanity will return, and we can all enjoy this phase in his life.
I don’t want to look back on the first year of his life and have regret that I didn’t enjoy it more. That is what I’m afraid of. I do enjoy my baby, but it is hard with all the struggles we have been having with him. I worry about what I’m eating and how it is hurting him. I worry about neglecting my older children because he is so needy. I want those feelings to subside as I make this transition. But, I have realized that the first step is to take baby steps. To tell myself every single feeding that he will be OK and that I am doing what is best for both him and my family.