People can tell a lot from the tone of our voice. It’s not so much the words said as they way they are said that can make a lot of difference, especially when talking to our spouse.
Recently Mick and I attended a gathering with a number of other couples and I listened to one woman talking to her man. It sounded like she was a drill sergeant barking orders to a group of soldiers. She was so intent on what she wanted done that I don’t think she was aware of how abrupt it sounded.
Neither was she aware of the tightening of his facial muscles each time she barked out another order. Others of us saw and I couldn’t help wondering if it would lead to an argument later, as men usually don’t like being bossed around.
We women by nature seem to be born organizers. That can certainly be a good thing. The world needs people who know how to organize others into action. But it’s not good when it means we’re issuing orders to our men. It’s a recipe for discontent and augments.
Recently a couple was out working in their yard. The woman’s tone was decidedly bossy and commanding. Mick noticed and commented, ‘Oh yeah, she’ a real bossy boots.’ I gathered from that it’s not the first time he’s heard hear bossing her man around. It appears to be a regular habit.
It’s a habit we need to get out of if we already have it. Instead of issuing orders, it’s just as easy to say, ‘Darling I’d really appreciate it if you would take the trash out or see to the kids from me.’
Notice how different the tone is and the words chosen. Sometimes we seem to forget politeness and niceties with our spouses. We use them with others in social situations but not at home. I think it’s time we all got back into the habit of treating our spouses politely and watching our tone.
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