I haven’t yet figured out if procrastination is a temperament trait, learned behavior, or whether or not it is something that I can do anything about as a parent–but I haven’t entirely given up hope. With two of my three children being pretty serious procrastinators, I’ve worked over the years to try to figure out why, but to also help them find ways of combating the procrastination and developing some coping skills. Of course, I’ve also had to adjust myself over the years and work at become “okay” with the various work styles of my children.
I am not a procrastinator by nature. I don’t know if I could even mange to put things off until the last minute if I tried. Accepting and understanding that “my way” is not necessarily the only way or even the “right way” was the first major step in my being able to parent procrastinators. It’s tough when your kids develop really strong character traits that seem in direct opposition to your own. When they were younger, I naively assumed that it was just a matter of teaching them ‘My way.” But, they had ideas of their own.
I think it also helps to look at life as a continuum. I’ve certainly learned a ton and continue to make adjustments to my personal self in adulthood. So, just because kids are procrastinators at ten, doesn’t mean that they will always be procrastinators. Life may have other lessons for them and they may make it a priority of their own personal growth in this area. Or, there might be things that they are “getting” from procrastination. I have a friend who explained that she is a procrastinator by choice–she feels energized and efficient putting things off until the last minute. She explained that she actually feels like she’s able to get more done and pay closer attention to details if she is working under pressure. How can I argue with that?
Letting children know that there are other ways of operating, and teaching them about scheduling, time lines, time management, etc. are all ways that a parent can be influential. Then, even if a child chooses to procrastinate, you’ve at least shared some of the skills and exposed your child to another way of doing things. Like many of the challenges of parenting, sometimes we can only do our very best, and then trust that our children will grow into the individuals they are meant to be. And, alas, this may include procrastination too.
See Also: Wisdom is Learned Through Experience and Resisting the Urge to Get Involved