What Do You Want in a Spouse?

love I remember back to when I was about eleven, making a list of all the things I wanted in a husband. I’d been taught that if you write your goals down, they were more likely to come true, so why not set a goal about the kind of guy I wanted to marry? Some of the things on my list were practical, and some weren’t. I had a major crush on Pierce Brosnan at the time (still do, if you want to know the truth) and I decided that I was going to marry someone with dark hair and blue eyes. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt a thing if he had an accent, and a mysterious past, had a cool car, and liked to solve mysteries …

As I got older, of course my list changed. Certain items remained the same while others dropped off and others were added. But the essentials were there, just as they always had been. Those were the things that I wanted most out of my marriage. And I got them.

When we keep our eyes focused on what we want, the odds of achieving it are much greater. And when you are looking steadfastly for certain qualities in a person, you are developing those qualities in yourself, whether you really know it or not, and that makes you more liable to attract that same kind of spouse. Things like income level, what he does for a living, how tall he is, what he looks like—these are all items that vary in importance depending on who you talk to, but those are all surface, external things. The inner qualities are the ones you should concentrate on. Kindness, devotion, sense of humor, spirituality – these are qualities that are eternal, that don’t fade with time, and really work to create a happy marriage.

So now I’m curious – what are some of the silly things you put on your wish list when you were younger, and what are some of the qualities that have been important to you from the very beginning and never lost their appeal?

Related Blogs:

What Makes You Happy?

The Makings of a Good Marriage

Expectations of Marriage