Today, my husband and I got into an argument. Neither one of us could seem to see the other person’s point of view. While he is a great strength to me, we are both tired, and exhausted much of the time due to raising 3 kids, one of which is a 2 month old, very need baby. In that environment, it is easy to get short with one another, and not realize before it is too late, and we are arguing.
Without going into what our fight was about, I will say that we worked it out. We always do. However, that doesn’t mean that it was easy. But, I realized something in the process. Both of us thought the other person was being selfish. And, maybe we both were.
Marriage is a lot of work. It takes constant communication and sacrifice by both parties to make it a success.
In the January 2012 Ensign article, What Happily Married Couples Do, there are 10 ideas listed to help you have success in your marriage, and more importantly, have a HAPPY marriage. I decide to read this article today so that I could possibly humble myself, and find ways to avoid future problems like what we had today.
Here are the ideas he lists:
*Have Positive Conversations
*Show Affection
*Remember That You Are Each Other’s Therapists
*Be Humble and Cultivate Christlike Attributes
*Date Frequently
*Enrich Your Intimacy
*Spend Time With Children and Grandchildren
*Seek Feedback and Help Each Other
*Eliminate Anger
*Be Sensitive to Each Other’s Stress Levels
If we could do all 10 of these things, all the time, then we would definitely have happy marriages. He also shared a quote that I love by President Gordon B. Hinkley, “A happy marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion”.
I don’t know that either one of us during our argument were really focusing on the other person’s comfort and well-being. Instead, we were both too concerned with what we wanted ourselves. It’s easy when you have a young family like ours to feel deprived of the luxuries like a night out alone, or extracurricular activities that we used to enjoy pre-kids.
In today’s society, it seems OK to say that it just didn’t work out and walk away from a marriage. However, in reality, walking away is the easiest thing to do. Staying and trying to work it out is much much harder. But, it can also lead to much much more happiness. But, only if you work at it.
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