I’ve had people try to assess me before and tell me what my parenting “style” seemed to be. I tend to not think in terms of labels and can definitely see some paradoxes—ways in which I am conservative and other ways that I am pretty liberal and loose. What is really interesting to me is HOW we get to be the parents we are and where our influences come from that help us evolve into the style and type of parent we are…
Some of my parenting certainly came from the way I was parented. HOWEVER, I think some of that is due to my reacting AGAINST what my own upbringing was like and making conscious decisions to try to do things differently. Of course, I’ve noticed that my own kids think their grandparents are terrific, so they’ve likely been able to experience the best of both worlds while I was trying to do things so differently.
I can’t help but wonder if things like gender, age, birth order, and geography all influence my parenting style. Having spent a few years living in the Midwest, I definitely felt like I had more of a West Coast sensibility about my parenting than a heartland one. Here on the West Coast, in a laid-back college town, I feel pretty typical. But I do think that being the eldest, and being a mom are both influential as to the “type” of parent I’ve become.
One other element I think REALLY influences my parenting style is my kids. Every child is different and I’m of the opinion that we parents have to adjust ourselves to meet the challenges of the children we actually get to parent. I imagine I would be a different sort of parent if I’d only had one, or had all children of one sex/gender, or had I had more kids, or whatever. I certainly think that the realties of our family and the personalities of my children have influenced my parenting style.
What about you? Where do you think the influences come from that influence your parenting style?
See Also: Do You Worry About What Other Parents Think? and Setting Boundaries in the Face of Opposition