So, you’re off to the hospital and you want to pack a book to while away the hours. I’ve come up with a list of suggestions for you to make the selection process a little easier.
1. If you are having a procedure that requires any sort of incision in the area ranging from the chest to the naval, do not take a humorous book. The laughing will hurt like the dickens and it will not be worth the extra morphine they’ll have to give you.
2. If you are having a baby, you probably won’t want to take a romance. You probably won’t want romance of any sort. You also won’t want a comedy, for reasons mentioned in #1, and you won’t want a drama, because your hormones will be in flux and you’ll cry. For a baby birth, may I recommend sci-fi. It’s hard to get too emotionally involved when the main characters are robots, aliens, and computers.
3. If you’re having surgery on an arm or a leg, go for a humorous book. You can laugh your head off and the vibrations shouldn’t ripple out as far as the limbs.
4. Regardless of what procedure you’re going in for, I would not recommend any books by Robin Cook. He writes suspense books about insane doctors who take people’s body parts out and switch them with other people’s. Read him in the hospital and you’ll have a nervous breakdown every time your doctor comes in the room. He’s a great read for any other time, though.
5. If you’re going in for an emergency, get in the car, for pity’s sake! Why are you standing there trying to decide what to take while you’re dripping blood on the floor?
May your hospital stay be short and your recovery quick. A word to the wise: the beef broth is wonderful but can be a little hot, so blow on it, and I heartily recommend the red Jell-O.
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