As do many writers, I subscribe to google alerts for ideas on blogs. Every morning my inbox is filled with news stories, media reviews and a smattering of other things–all baby related. I get at least a dozen news articles a day on baby deaths or injuries. A father who shook his baby to death, a father putting his child into the microwave, a mother who hung her 3 children and herself in a murder/suicide. . .and the list can go on. It seems more and more, parents are completely unprepared for parenthood and don’t know what else to do. Don’t misunderstand me–their actions are inexcusable. But I think they may have been preventable.
My question this morning is what will it take to reduce infant deaths that are caused by some type of abuse? The statistics are difficult to verify, in part because there is not differentiation between say, and infant who died of shaken baby syndrome verses a baby who died of SIDS. It’s also difficult to verify because there is no way to take all the abuse related deaths for children under age 3 and consider those alone without statistics on accidental deaths, or other non-abuse related deaths.
However, all one really needs to do is turn on the television or open up the newspaper and do a little reading. The two most recently that stick out in my mind are the story about the baby who was shaken to death. The autopsy revealed severe intercranial bleeding indicative of violent shaking. And of course, the dad who burned the baby in a microwave.
Those of us who are moms know how hard it can be. I don’t think that I’ve slept more than 5 hours in several years. Sleep deprivation alone can cause aggressive behavior and make one more prone to depression. I can remember days, especially during the twin infancy where we all sit and cry together: me, Emily & Laura.
But at the end of the day, I had some support. I had a friend who could say, “Wow, you’re doing great. I don’t know how you handle twins.” Or my husband would come home and offer dinner. I had people around me who could support my breastfeeding efforts when I was a new mom and I had other women who gave wise words, helping ease the transition from childless adult to mother.
So here is my plea and challenge today. Do you know a pregnant mom? I want you to decide what you can do to help her. Even if all you do is bring a dinner, that is one more person in her life who is helping her out. By making yourself available to at least one new mom who need the support and advice of those of us who have been there and done that, you are improving the lives of children.
To those of you who are thinking I’m way to idealistic I would encourage you to think about the boy and the starfish. If every mom who could, offered support to just one other mom, it would make a big difference.