What Would You Change?

If you could turn back time what would you change? I’ve thought about this a lot. How many times have you wished you could do things over, make different choices?

It makes me sad that I wasn’t married once, for the rest of my life, I wish I had made better choices. When I see how much value my home has lost and how upside down I am in it I wish I could go back and undo that choice. I wish I had gone to college, had more children, written a novel, been a better mother, sister, friend. So many things I wish I could have done differently.

Most of those things are tied to my daughter and the choices I’ve made that affect her. I wish she had grown up in an intact family, I wish I had saved more for her education, I wish I had more patience.

When I see how much Hailey’s dad hurts her feelings and how uninvolved he is in her life I think I should have chosen a better father for her. Then I remember that as hard as some of the lessons have been on both of us, each choice I made led me to being Hailey’s mom, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

One different choice and my daughter would not be who she is. I know if I had another child I would not have known Hailey so I couldn’t have possibly missed her but knowing who she is, there isn’t anything I would have changed.

Had I married another man, I would have had a different child. Had I stayed married to Hailey’s father, she would be a different person right now. Each little choice I made has helped shape her into who she is today.

Some of those choices still cause me to cringe but my daughter has come through stronger because of my mistakes.

Changing the past may be tempting but now it’s your history, and the history of your children. I, for one, wouldn’t change a thing.