“When Are You Going to Have Kids?”

Because Wayne and I have been together so long, we often get the question: When are you going to have kids? (Or some derivative thereof.)

The Answer

Probably never.

The Inevitable Follow Up Questions

“Can you have kids?”

“Do you like children?” (for those who haven’t seen us with kids), or “I can’t believe you don’t have any kids. You’re so good with them. Are you sure you’re not ready to be a mom?” (for those who have seen us with kids).

“What are you waiting for? You’re not getting any younger.”

The Inevitable Follow Up Answers

No, we’re not infertile. (That I know of. We’ve never tried to get pregnant so maybe one or the both of us is and we just don’t know it.)

Yes, I like kids. I enjoy being around them and have a good time interacting with them. Wayne likes kids too. He coached swim team for a number of years and is very good with children. I’ve never really had any formal structure guiding my interactions with kids, but I’ve always had a blast with friends’, relatives’, and neighbors’ kids. I enjoy listening to their stories and seeing the world through their eyes.

We’re not waiting for anything, and, yes, we’re both well aware we’re not getting any younger.

“So why no kids?”

Well…that’s the million dollar answer that’s hard to nail down.

The Reasoning

I’m the lynchpin in our decision making. Wayne could go either way. If I want kids, fine. He’s there for me. If not, he’s cool with that too.

I never really envisioned my life with kids. I also am the kind who needs to feel passionately about something before I commit to it, be it a marriage, job, or kids. Up until two years ago, I never had the “urge” to be a mom that I’d heard (or witnessed) so many of my friends experience. My biological clock’s alarm went off unexpectedly –one afternoon in a Publix parking lot of all places. But just as quickly as it was activated, it was deactivated again.

If it had lingered, I might have been chasing around a toddler right now rather than writing this blog.

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