As I’ve read the forums recently it seems a few people in relationships feel unsure about what they should do. They are ‘in love’ but unsure about the commitment of marriage. It prompted me to think that love is not enough. Being is love is great, but sometimes you can be in love with the wrong person.
I’ve been in love twice in my life. The first time I was very young, still in my teens. Yes, I was in love with this boy but at the same time I realized one thing – though in love he was not the right person for me. There were things in his personality and mine that quite simply clashed more than they should in a relationship. There were things in his background and mine that created difficulties and I could see being potential problems. I realized marriage to him would be a constant battle because quite simply we were not right for each other.
Even though I was ‘in love,’ I broke off the relationship. Afterwards I had all those doubts about whether I’d done the right thing, what if I he was ‘the one,’ what if I never found the right person, etc. For a time I was miserable. Yet I knew I’d get over it, eventually. I was unhappy but I could live without him.
Some time later, though still only a teenager, I met Mick and knew that we would always be together, even though a lot of people doubted it. The difference this time was we were both sure of our feelings for each other, we complemented each other, we knew we could not live any other way than together. We were prepared to withstand any opposition and do whatever was required to marry each other. I not only ‘in love’ I loved him and liked him as a person. I knew I could live with the person he was, even his faults.
We might have had different taste in music and movies, but we could talk to each other for hours and hours about all sorts of things. We enjoyed being together. Our core values were the same. We shared our deepest thoughts and feelings with each other as well as the usual lovers’ smooching. He was my love and my best friend.
As the years have gone on, not much has changed, except we’ve drawn even closer together so that not only do we share our Christian faith and values, we share common interests, we still talk and enjoy being together, we’re still each others love and best friend.
There’s a big difference between loving someone and being ‘in love.’ It seems to me if you have to ask someone else whether you should marry someone and whether it’s the right thing to do, then you’re not ready to marry them. You might be in love but it’s not real love. You need to be sure you can’t live without them. Would you agree?
Related blogs
Are Your Core Values the Same?
Does It Matter If You Don’t Go To Church and Worship Together?
Lies Society Has Fed Us About Marriage
What Is At the Center of Your Life And Why It Matters