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When He Refuses Marriage Counseling

Women are much more accepting to getting help for their marriage than men. Most men are unwilling to open up to a stranger (a therapist) or even admit that they cannot work things out on their own without help. There are many marriages that could have been saved and divorces that could have be avoided only had the husbands given up their pride and gone to therapy with their wives.

So how can you get your unwilling husband to attend therapy with you? Obviously he cannot be forced. In most cases you will not benefit from him going against his will anyway.

One recent article I was reading gave some advice. Dr. Patricia Allen suggested a technique that some women might find too risky and upfront on their part. However if your marriage is headed down the road to divorce, this may be just what you need to help make your tough decisions.

First she suggests that the wife write the husband a letter. This letter should be a special letter containing five paragraphs. The letter should begin in the first paragraph by a positive opening. Explain to the husband what qualities he has that are appealing to you and what it is that makes your happy about your marriage.

In the next paragraph discuss your hurt and the negative aspects that have provoked you to leave him. In paragraph three you should write about exactly what it is that you do not want in your marriage. Then discuss how you would like things between the two of you to be different.

In paragraph four is where you ask your husband to see a therapist with you. Ask him to actually make the call and the appointment. Be certain to put a card or write the information in the letter. He should not have to look up the number or locate a therapist on his own. Have this readily available.

Marriage Counseling is a Process

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What Marriage Counseling Can Do For You