There are some people in life who like to have everything mapped out to know what they are doing and when. Others like to be spontaneous and just go with the flow, not planning but doing things as the mood takes them. What happens when the two of these meet and fall in love?
It can make for interesting times. It might even be one of the character traits that initially attracts one person to another but then come marriage it could turn into a major problem unless you find a way to resolve it.
I admit I tend to be a person who is more the planning type. For this reason I don’t deal well with things like that or sudden disruptions to plans unless they are due to illness or accidents which obviously can’t be avoided. I don’t deal well with unexpected visitors staying for a meal or a weekend, so Mick would never offer an off the cuff invite whereas a friend of mine revels in handing out such spontaneous invites. That’s not to say that occasionally we don’t just decide to go out of the evening or the day, but on the whole we both like to have plans in place and have it all written in the diary or on the calendar. I don’t think I’d handle a spouse who is into spur of the moment too often.
This is exactly the situation a couple I know found themselves in. She likes to have everything planned out and know exactly what she is doing so she can organize her time. He likes to be more spontaneous. Obviously conflict was going to occur unless they sat down and talked it through. The result was each of them agreed they needed to lighten up a bit and each of them needed to be more flexible and considerate of the other.
He agreed to be more considerate of her need for planning and not suddenly spring activities on her especially if it required cooking meals or preparing for visitors. She agreed that some weekends it would be nice not to have everything penciled in and leave dates free for a spontaneous day out or surprise dinner out or trip to a certain place.
They wouldn’t have arrived at this compromise unless they had sat down and identified the basic difference in their personalities and identified the problem which they did before they were married and then talked through how to handle them in their marriage.
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