Going through a divorce is hard enough as it is but then eventually, you will be ready to start dating again. Whether you have children or not, this too is challenging, frustrating, and a little scary. As you can imagine, dating as a newly single person involves a number of new things such as when to introduce someone special to the family, how long before you should intimate, should the kids be involved and if so, when? These are all important considerations that can be handled right or wrong.
Keep in mind that while spending quality time is essential to the kids after a divorce, you too need time, which will make you a happier and better parent. Again, the question becomes when to start dating. I know everyone is different but for me, I waited two years. Yes, that sounds like a long time but I had gone through a difficult divorce and I felt my kids needed my attention more than I needed a date and to be honest, I’m glad I went that route.
I personally started dating just a little more than a year ago and I’m surprised at how difficult it is. Yes, I have met some wonderful people but I’ve also found that I’m more protective and particular about the type of person I date. I have not become overly involved with anyone in that I still have children at home and I don’t feel they need a stepfather. Again, this is just me but it’s based on my children. Therefore, to determine the right decision, you need to base things around your children.
I do recommend when you first start dating that you take things slowly. One of the most common mistakes is dating anyone and everyone. Instead, be picky, set your boundaries, and begin to build a social life with regular friends, incorporating a date in on occasion. That way, you will not become burned out, still have time for the children, and have a regular social life with friends.
I highly recommend you take some time off to establish a new home. Then, before you enter the world of dating, give some careful thought into the type of relationship you want. Are you looking for a friend to enjoy weekends with? Do you want someday to remarry? Then, do you want to date just one person or do you prefer several people? Yes, entering the dating world as a single person is scary so to ensure you meet the right type of people, go to places other than bars. That is not saying that visiting a bar from time-to-time is a bad thing but get involved with single’s organizations socialize through workshops, sporting events, social events, and so on.