We have all heard of marriage partners that are unfaithful. We also know that some couples that experience an affair end in divorce and others stay together and work through their problems.
Thankfully, I have never had to encounter terrible circumstances such as these. However, I do know people that have partners that have broken that sacred trust. So what do you do when the trust is no longer there?
I feel that trust is essential in a relationship. It would be very difficult to live worrying about where your spouse is and if he/she is telling you the truth. I have one friend who is going through this now. My advice to friends who have experienced an unfaithful spouse exists in two thoughts.
First, try to work it out (especially if you have children). There are too many divorces in our world. However if you and your spouse plan on staying together, you must have a common understanding. First and foremost the cheating spouse must promise to recommit his/her or love and remain faithful. He/she may also have to give in to some lifestyle changes. For example, staying out late or going to bars. Second, the ‘victim’ must understand that the situation cannot be a continuous issue. Once things are settled, they must be put in the past. A solid marriage cannot hold grudges or be haunted by the previous issues. Although I give the advice, this is something that I think I would have trouble doing.
My second thought is divorce. If you cannot forgive your spouse then let the marriage go. Too many people live in miserable marriages. If you cannot once again trust and be happy with spouse, then maybe you should think about separating for a while. As hard as divorce is on children, I also feel that living in a constant war between parents at home emotionally and mentally damages children.
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