Many times when spouses feel slighted by their partners or they feel as though they aren’t getting their needs met. When someone feels this way, feels unloved, it is almost natural to close in and look elsewhere for those needs to be fulfilled. But, it is so much better to put that effort into looking toward your marriage instead.
Don’t look elsewhere
Let us pretend that you have been feeling neglected because your spouse is always out with his or her friends. An initial reaction might be to go and hang out with your friends as well, flirting a bit with the opposite sex in an effort to reclaim some self esteem and make yourself feel better. While maintaining friendships is very healthy, you don’t want to cross the line out of anger or frustration. A flirtation can quickly turn into something more serious, so don’t even focus your energy elsewhere. Focusing on the love you have for your spouse, and communicating, is a better plan.
In so many instances, couples tell me that they sought affairs outside of marriage because they felt their need for attention and love wasn’t being met.
If you find yourself feeling neglected, then be completely honest with your partner with out accusing him or her of not meeting your needs. You can do this by emphasizing how much you love your spouse.
When you broach the subject make sure to do it with out accusing. Instead of saying, “You never want to stay home with me,” you can express your need as, “I am so in love with you that I just can’t seem to get enough of you lately. Do you think you can stay home tonight so we could spend time together?”
You could also approach the situation as a problem that needs to be solved together. Say something like, “I really think it is important for you to enjoy spending time with your friends, but I also feel that you and I don’t get a chance to enjoy each other. What do you think we should do?”
Have your recently solved an issue in your marriage? I’d love to hear about it.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.