A friend of mine recently confessed to me that she just doesn’t love her husband. She is considering leaving him, although she is unsure of the decision since this man is a wonderful husband and father. He has always been loyal, faithful, kind, and a good friend. What do you think she should do?
The first question I had for her was whether or not she ever loved her husband. Many people feel as through the first flush of love and romance is gone, especially after kids. Most couples go on to develop a longer-lasting deeper love and fall in love with each other all over again. If this was the case for her, I would suggest that they go to couples therapy and get a chance to rediscover each other all over again and spend time together without the kids.
My friend, in fact, revealed to me that she never was in love with her husband. That she married him because he was a good man, they got along very well together, and she felt the pressure to settle down and have a family. Over time, she thought she might develop feelings for her husband, but they never seemed to go beyond a warm friendship. While this makes the situation a bit tricker, I was ready to ask my next question.
Did she feel that her life would be better off without her husband? While everyone has a right to be happy, she should really examine whether or not separating her husband and then searching for a new love would actually give her a happier more satisfying life.
My advice to her, as a friend, was to explore every avenue before she decided to throw everything she had away in her marriage. The couple should go to counseling and especially work on sexual attraction issues, since the friendship between them was already there. They should rely on the strength of that friendship to communicate honestly and with kindness.
What do you think?
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.