Or insert any other adjective instead of aggressive. Which one is the shy, mean, nice, one? As a mother of twins I hate this question. It necessarily confines me to label one or the other. Equally annoying however, is the tendency to assume that if one is one way, the other must be the opposite.
For example, the girls were recently watched and someone asked which one was the aggressive one? That would be Emily. Hands down–Emily is aggressive. She likes to play physically and is most happy being tossed through the air or wrestled to the ground. She instigates battles over toys and her favorite sound is some kind of high pitched scream that let’s the world know, “Hey, I’m not getting the attention I feel I deserve!” Her first sentence ever? “Hey! That’s mine!”
Apparently though, Laura was playing the aggressive part at my friend’s house. Emily was not aggressive. . .it was Laura. My friend was surprised. . .she thought Laura was supposed to be the shy one. While Emily is definitely aggressive, Laura is not shy or passive. In fact Emily will no longer pick on Laura because Laura has communicated in no uncertain terms that she’s not going to put up with her sister’s shenanigans.
So in an effort to clarify for all who are wondering whenever they see twins. . .they don’t have to be opposites. They get to have personality traits all to their own completely independent of their twin. This is exciting! You realize that this means you can have one aggressive one and a sneaky one. Or even two shy ones. In fact you can have any combination of personality traits that are genetically and environmentally possible.
So while I can agree that there’s a twin dynamic in which the two seem to interact, they are no more alike than other siblings. You can safely resist the urge to ask those twin mommies you see which one is the aggressive (or shy, or nice or whatever) one.
And while we’re on assumptions frequently made about twins let me also tell you that just because they look alike doesn’t mean they are identical!
Related Articles:
To Test or Not to Test: Zygosity in Twins
Ode to Twins and Supertwins: 28 Interesting Facts About Multiples