There are children all over the world who need homes and any kind of adoption is a good and honorable thing to do. Just for a moment, though, I want to turn your attention to the children who most need a family to call their own. Internationally, there are thousands, perhaps millions of children who are special needs. These kids are often considered “unwanted” because they are not healthy infants. Most of them will reach adulthood in an orphanage and then they will move to the streets.
If international adoption is a leap into the unknown, then special needs international adoption seems like a jump into a bottomless chasm. At least that’s what I thought when I started to hear about special needs adoption. I really didn’t think I was cut out for it. It just seemed too scary. What if we couldn’t handle the child’s needs? Would the child’s needs take over our lives? Did we really want to commit to that?
It seems that this is the typical reaction for most people when they hear about special needs adoption. However, that seems to be because of the misconceptions that surround this type of child. Special needs does not always mean that the child has permanent, debilitating disabilities, though this type of child does fit into this category. Also called “Waiting Children”, these are simply kids who are harder to place. In the adoption world, any child who is not a healthy infant can be considered special needs, though it depends on the country and the agency who is assigned the child. I have seen healthy children who are only 9 months old on special needs lists because the country couldn’t place them. Also considered special needs are older children and kids with health conditions or disabilities.
Why consider these children? First, let’s talk about children with health conditions or disabilities. When I first learned about special needs children I thought that all of these kids had severe disabilities. I was worried about taking on the responsibility of a child who would need a lot of intensive, long-term care. The thing is, most special needs kids are not like that. Instead, a lot of them have mild to moderate medical conditions that will not prohibit them from growing up and living a fairly normal life. Some of the most common conditions of this nature are a cleft lip or a club foot. The child will need surgery and some therapy, but after a few years he/she will not be much different than any other child.
Next to consider is the older child. This seems to be a bigger leap of faith for some people than even adopting a child with medical issues. Most older children who are available for adoption are perfectly healthy. However, the majority of adoptive parents want babies and so these older children are bypassed year by year. Parents who have adopted older children report that it definitely is different from adopting a baby, but that these differences are not always negative. An older child will have memories of his/her birth country and previous placements. This can help a great deal as the child processes their adoption and comes to an acceptance of their situation. A baby has no memories and can often feel as though their past was erased. Also, a lot of parents don’t want to do the “diapers and formula” thing again. Older children are past that stage and they are ready to play ball, build Barbie houses and take music lessons. The child’s personality is already fully developed and they can be a great addition to your family.
The main thing I hope that you take from this post is just the willingness to consider special needs international adoption. These kids do need a little more help and perhaps a little more understanding, but the rewards connected that come with parenting a special needs child are just as wonderful as with any other child. After all, none of us are perfect and it is often in our imperfections that we find joy.