Yesterday, I started talking about dealing with death with your children. We experienced this first hand this week when one of our beloved turtles died. You can read the first part of this story here.
I left off, with my son trying to ‘revive’ the turtles by warming up the water. . .
In response to his idea about the larger turtle needing more warm water, I told him that we could try it, and that I hoped that it would work, but that I suspected that his turtle may have died. He accepted this as reasonable, (I think deep down that he thought the same thing himself). We took the turtle and put it in the smaller tank that we use when we change the water in the big tank. We put warmer water in and watched for any signs of life. I could see immediately that there was no hope, but I wanted to wait for him to make the same conclusion himself. I thought it would be better for him to come to the difficult truth himself, and in his own time.
After a couple of minutes, he agreed that his turtle had, in fact, died. He turned to me and asked, “Daddy, why did it have to die?”
I said, “Well Simba, you and I are a part of the great circle of life…”
I’m just kidding.
I told him that death was as much a part of life as being born, and that although it’s not easy to come to terms with, it is the natural way of the world. He cried for a little while, and when he felt okay we had a little ceremony and flushed the turtle. He was very brave, and I was very proud of him. It was his first personal experience where something he was close to died, and he handled it very well. I hope that all of my children will cope with their first similar experience as well as he did.
As a dad, watching your child go through losing a pet is never easy, but if handled the right way, the experience can both strengthen your bond with your child as well as help him grow emotionally.